When Rochelle Ventura, a retired electoral strategist, married at the age of 22, she says she felt “like a domestic slave.” She describes herself and her 82-year-old partner, retired software developer Phil Doppelt, as “equals.” I indicated right away that it was not my responsibility to cook dinner every night.”
They live in separate houses in Los Angeles and San Jose, and they keep their finances separate. They’ve been together for nearly a decade and have found love and happiness without getting married. “In my marriage, I didn’t feel like I was my own person,” she explains. “I was stranded.” If I want, I can now leave. But I can’t imagine leaving Phil.”
Ventura and Doppelt are riding a social and demographic wave. The social situation for older couples has altered substantially in the last two decades, according to Bowling Green sociologist Susan L. Brown. “Older persons are at the vanguard of family change,” she adds. Divorce rates among persons over 50 doubled between 1990 and 2010, according to her, and are currently at record highs. As a result, there are older singles.
